The Eccentric's Wine Steward Eliminator

This is the apparatus preferred by one seeking an eccentric approach to pouring a glass of wine. Standing 8'-tall and engineered from 300 precision moving parts, the contraption supplants a conventional sommelier with a half ton of cast and machined solid bronze castings of hundreds of pieces of ancient iron sourced from scrap yards, ships, farms, beaches, and tinkerer’s hoards.Turning a hand crank engages a set of gears, chains, and levers that lower a corkscrew into a bottle’s cork until the ding of a bell and a blacksmith’s hammer swings down to lock off the handle and initiate the pouring sequence. A giant clock spring and an Elizabethan cannonball wound up by the uncorking cycle release to raise and tilt the bottle into a horizontal position. The rate of pour is marshalled by a spinning, weighted governor made from old steam engine spanners. The bottle is lowered back into a vertical position. Each contraption is a unique construction. 8' H x 5' W x 2' D. (1,102 lbs.)