If there’s such a thing as bad ice cream, we’ve never had it. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t gradations of quality. As our country comes together to reflect on the true meaning of National Ice Cream Day, we humbly submit these points for consideration about how best to honor this sweetest of all gifts from the dairy gods.

Homemade ice cream, of course, remains the surest stairway to the zenith of ice-cream ecstasy. Your choice of flavors and ingredients are limited only by what the human body can digest. Once you’ve settled on a recipe, then all you have to ask yourself is how much?

For big parties or big appetites, The 2-Quart Ice Cream Maker makes as much as a standard carton of ice cream from the grocery store. The Compact 1-Pint Ice Cream Maker is more equivalent to a fancy little Ben & Jerry’s tub. Both are absurdly easy to operate. Just add ingredients, mix it all up, and put the container in the freezer. You’ll be on the road to delectable brain freeze in 25 minutes or so.

But what about meltage? Will you have time to enjoy your homemade ice cream at peak texture before it liquifies under the remorseless warmth of the world outside the freezer? Is “meltage” even a word? So many questions… but one answer: The Freeze-Chill Ice Cream Bowl Set. This pair of double-walled bowls cradles a freezing gel that keeps the bowl cold far longer than normal. Scoops stay scoops. Toppings stay fresh. Because it’s National Ice Cream Day, not National Thick, Syrupy, Sweet Soup Day.

As we’ve said, we’ve enjoyed ice cream under extremely suboptimal conditions. Out of a little wax-paper cup with a flat wooden spoon. Battling a sticky, dripping waffle cone at a briny pier while the seagulls close in. Furtive bites direct from the carton late at night when everyone else is asleep. All wonderful. But sometimes, one just wants to put ice cream on a figurative velvet pillow and devour it like a work of art.